Since my (19F) mom found out that I’m autistic, her health-nut friends have come out of the woodwork and have recommended that I go on the dairy-and-gluten-free diet. (Tried posting in r/autism but apparently I use too much bad language to post there)
Fuck, I’m pissed. She bought the “ASD complete autism spectrum disorder and diet guide” per recommendation from one of her friends who is vegan and anti-vax. My mom dismissed her friends’ anti-vax claims since my doctors have discredited them over and over again. However, she just found out about this “autism diet cure” thing, so I haven’t had a chance to get my docs to talk with us about this.
For the record, besides being an aspie, I also have Cystic Fibrosis, so it’s imperative that I eat right. I already avoid sugar for the most part since sugar has numerous adverse impacts on everyone’s health. But, I eat lots of gluten, dairy, and meat since they contain lots of fat and calories, which I need as someone with CF. As far as I can tell, I’m not gluten or dairy intolerant, especially since starting a medication called Trikafta, which requires me to take with at least 10 grams of fat with it, which I usually get by drinking a large glass of whole milk every morning. Either that, or I drink a smaller glass of whole goat milk, which is basically a thicker version of cow’s milk.
Since discovering my mom’s plan to attempt to impose this shitty dairy and gluten free diet, I sent her some studies and resources that are credible and discuss the dangers of the gluten and dairy free diet. My mom isn’t stupid. She’s actually really smart. But, she sometimes gets roped into bullshit conspiracy theories thanks to her weird anti-vax-type friends, whom I really can’t stand.
These same friends have tried to throw a monkey wrench into my hunting and fishing plans, citing bogus claims about how I’ll get worms or CWD from the fish and game I hunt. Of course, since I’ve been hunting and fishing for my whole life and have yet to get a tapeworm or die of Chronic Wasting Disease, my mom has dismissed her vegan friends’ arguments. Also, her friends tried to convince my mom to take me off my protein-rich diet. She did for about three months, during which I lost ten pounds and got sick with all sorts of shit. My doctors chewed her out for that and got me back to eating two pounds of beef per day along with lots of salmon, and I got better.
So, now this. I’m honestly so sick of it. It also just hurts. The way her vegan friends and that ASD diet book talk about autism is dehumanizing. No, I am not “damaged” or “broken”. No, I don’t need to be fixed. Autism is nothing like Cystic Fibrosis. CF should be cured because it is literally killing me and causes me to suffer from numerous lung infections and digestive issues. Autism is just a different way of viewing the world, and that’s okay!
If the five studies I sent my mom don’t counter her woo-woo shit, I have an appointment with a psychiatrist for my official-official diagnosis in a couple weeks. I’m sure he’ll be pretty upset with my mom. I’ll probably let my mom’s psychologist cousin (who recommended that psychiatrist to us) know too. My mom’s cousin doesn’t view autism as a bad or wrong thing. In fact, she thinks it’s a tremendous advantage in a lot of ways, and if anything, should be nurtured and celebrated!
If my mom’s cousin was my mom, and autism was proven to be exacerbated by gluten and dairy (which it’s not), then she’d put me on a diet of pizza and mac-n-cheese! Lmao
Anyway, I don’t know what else to say. I already have shitty self esteem, and I have a long way to go before I accept the fact that I’m on the spectrum. This just pushes me back further. Right now, I fucking hate my autism diagnosis. Part of me wishes I never found out about it. After all, I did go for eighteen years without knowing that I was autistic. We just thought I was shy and anxious, which is true, but for entirely different reasons than ASD. There’s already enough stigma surrounding CF and anxiety. I don’t need to be beat down even more by the stigma surrounding ASD as well.
Before, I believed my CF would kill me before I could become successful. Now that my CF, for the most part, has been brought to heel, for a couple of years I truly believed I could do anything I wanted. My close friends and family told me that I could. In fact, one of my closest friends, who was also my teacher for the last two years of high school (long story short: CF almost killed me, so I graduated high school online with the help of a home school teacher who very quickly became my friend), has said to me over and over again, that I can be literally anything I want and not to get too stressed out or afraid I won’t succeed. My dad has also pounded this into me, saying that the only thing in my way to becoming successful is my anxiety, which is very fixable.
But now, I’m having severe doubts thanks to my autism diagnosis. I’ve seen the studies. I’ve heard the horror stories. I have some horror stories myself (including this latest episode). I’m becoming more and more convinced that I’m destined to live under my mom’s roof forever, and even when the pandemic ends and it’s safe for me to go places and do things, I won’t go to college or anything like it. I could really use some motivation from those who are also on the spectrum, but who are successful and independent.
EDIT: Holy shit, I didn't realize it would blow up like this lmao. Anyway, I had a discussion with my mom and she apologized. She read the studies then realized what she was reading had been discredited long ago. She still wants us all to eat healthy, but that's normal. My current diet won't change, and neither will hers. As for her weird wacko friends, I wish I could pry my mom away from them, but they're just in our lives forever I guess. Oh well. At least science is on my side haha! My mom clearly loves me and wants the best for me, as I love and want the best for her. She, like all moms, just gets a little over-excited sometimes, and that's okay. Thanks for y'alls advice and encouragement. It really helped to lift my spirits and self esteem.
submitted by camohorse